Bye bye kids

I had a very emotional week. Lots has happened. We used to think that four of the kids were HIV positive, just carriers of the virus. But Monica got some test results back, and it turns out that all of their AIDS is active. This means that they have anywhere from a few months to a few years left. The oldest girl is the worst case, and probably doesn't have long. We were shocked. Monica took it really hard, she texted me when she got the results because she couldn't come home and see the kids. And as soon as she did, she started crying. These kids are like her children, she cares for them in every way, and now we know that they could die if they catch a cold. I can only feel a small amount of what she must feel, and it really sucks.

The worst part is that Monica still needs to go back to Spain to have surgery, and so the kids are going home for an entire month. After finding out the news, Monica didn't want to leave, but everything was already set. -Tuesday was the day they were supposed to leave, but the oldest girl's Grandpa called on Saturday to pick her up because he didn't have time on Tuesday. Later in the day, Shama Rimu's (my favorite) uncles came to pick him up unexpectedly. As soon as they walked through the door, Rimu started crying.

Him singing Gangnam style for me

This gorgeous, smiling boy stood motionless and sobbed at the thought of going home with these two people that beat him.

I hated them from the moment they walked in. You can't see it very clearly in the picture, but Rimu has a burn scar on his forehead from boiling water being dumped on him, and his left ear is scarred from being hit by a rock by his mother. He is constantly crying out for attention, and for once in his life he was in a place where he was being loved. I am terrified for what his family will do to the progress he's made here.

Eventually, we convinced his uncles to come back on Tuesday and he was perfectly behaved for the rest of the day. Domestic violence is all too common here. All of the boys said they have been beaten by their family members, usually when they are drunk. Monica and I talked with all of the kids about how to avoid being abused, to stay out of the way, keep productive, and if there's drinking going on, stay out of sight. Monica told them that if they get hit, they should ask why, because most abuse happens for no good reason. I also taught them some defensive karate, not that it would be a lot of use for such small kids against adults, but I wanted to build their confidence. And it was also really fun.

The  night before they left, we had a birthday party for Rimu. He turned 8 years old on the 21st (we think, none of the kids have birth certificates), so we celebrated before they left.

I just... I can't. there is too much cute

Frosting face

That night, we just chilled and watched a movie, and it was so nice. The next day there were a lot of tears. We got ready to go in the morning, then everybody's family started arriving to pick them up, and Monica talked to them about what homework they have over the break and all that.

The boys were like, teacher teacher, who will kiss our dolls when we go home? How adorable is that? I wish I had taken more pictures on the day they left, but there was lots to do. Eventually, everything was ready and Monica had spent an unnecessary amount of time explaining things to the family members. We walked everyone to the bus stop, and the crying commenced. I was sad to see them go, but what I couldn't stand was watching them cry.

Rimu's uncles had apparently forgotten to come get him. We had to call them a million times and tell them they would have to pay for Monica's plane ticket if they didn't pick him up right away. How could you forget something like that? We had told them only three days before. It was the definition of neglect. And by the time they came to pick him up, I didn't want him to leave with them. It was probably the hardest goodbye.

My boss sat me down a few days before the kids left and told me that I was going to 下乡(descend to the villages) for a month to help out at a school that was short on managers. So stay tuned for me next post on the GLORIOUS life in the rural Liangshan mountains.

For now: China pic of the day

It was so hard not to laugh out loud at this guy's hat. I think they spelled it wrong...

Love, love

Tibetan Wedding

I had one of the most interesting weekends of my entire life last week. My coworker Lin Dong is ethnically Tibetan, and she invited Yinglei and I to her home for the weekend to attend her relative's wedding.

On the road! A three hour bus ride to a city called Yanyuan followed by an hour long car ride to a house on top of a mountain. It was a bumpy ride

Spot the creeper behind us?

Why is it so blurry? bumpiest ride of my life

I have no idea how she slept through this

Not the worst bathroom I've ever been in

We met a guy on the bus who raises carrier pidgeons. Right on. 

When we finally got to the house, we were welcomed immediately with three cups of tea, the traditional Tibetan way of inviting a guest into their home. The tea was made of some sort of cheese, which sounds disgusting but was actually surprisingly delicious.

The house was made of mud, which was a first for me. There was the main room where we had the tea and everybody sang together. It seemed that every single person had an incredible voice, and even though I had no idea what they were singing, it was beautiful. They asked Yinglei and I to sing too. They also fed us goat that they had just killed, because killing a goat or a pig is a way to honor a guest. And that goat was delicious.  

They killed a pig for us later too. creepiest thing I have ever seen

The head of our dead goat

 

 

After we had been welcomed with our tea and gorgeous singing, everyone went to the outside area of the house for dancing! This was probably my favorite part of the weekend. They taught us a bunch of line dances, and traditional dances which mostly involve holding hands and synchronized stepping in a circle. The only negative part of the dancing was when the old guys started getting drunk and literally pushing other people aside so they could dance next to me and drunkenly bump into me ALL THE TIME. And also tell me how Obama is thumbs up and Communism stinks. I have decided that middle aged drunk people are the worst kind of drunk people, and earnestly implore all middle aged people to at least stay home and drink.

 These are two of the douchebags that wouldn't leave me alone all weekend. Sorry to be so judgemental, but they were two of the most rude, disrespectful people I have ever met. The one on the left kept asking my if I was pro-independence for Tibet. Dangerous topic anyone? The one on the right was bragging about how he had two wives. Because he had money enough to pay two bride prices. I know it's a different culture and all, but I wanted to strangle him.

The next day was officially the beginning of the wedding, and Lin Dong gave Yinglei and I traditional Tibetan clothes to wear! It is a tradition at such events to not let your guests enter the house until the have had three cups of alcohol. And so Lin Dong had us stand literally in front of the doorway and not let people in until they had got they drank on. I crossed "be a bartender" off my bucket list after this. 

This is the table they had us distribute the alcohols with

Going to set this as my cover photo now

Lin Dong didn't tell us before that she wanted us to be security guards/bartenders, so I was a little surprised by my morning assignment. After all the guests had arrived, I was a little more than surprised when she wanted to drag me around to the lunch tables and introduce me to every single guest at the wedding. She was like "they have never seen a foreigner before, and they all want to meet you". So she introduced me as "Our American friend" to people that just stared at me awkwardly, and made me toast with everyone. It was humiliating. I was a blonde puppet to make her look exotic in front of her family. I wouldn't have been as mad if she hadn't started calling me her best friend. seriously girl? I appreciated her inviting me, but other than that, we have never hung out. And on top of THAT, she started telling people that Yinglei was Korean, because apparently being from China is boring. I could tell that Yinglei wasn't happy about it either. This sort of thing happens, but I guess this was just too much. And thus the negative feelings of the weekend began. 

After lunch, we went on a walk

 I started feeling a liiiiittle sick, so I didn't eat dinner, and told Lin Dong that I had just eaten too much for lunch. I thought I would be fine, until later that night, when they made a SECOND dinner. As it is the Chinese way to shove food down your guests' throats whether they want it or not, there was no way I was getting away without eating. And so I participated in second dinner like a tall blonde hobbit.

The next morning, I woke up to this gorgeous sunrise

But I was still feeling sick. Yinglei and I helped the rest of the girls get the bride ready, and she looked gorgeous. 

We asked her where she had met her fiance, and she said she hadn't. Apparently, this was an arranged marriage, and the groom paid 100,000 RMB (approx $16,700) for his bride. That is quite a price, especially for a farmer who lives in the mountains of rural China. When the bride first saw her groom, she looked less than ecstatic. I thought he was super handsome, but I guess it's hard to be excited about marrying someone you've never spoken to before. When we were leaving, she kept pulling my arm and saying that I should stay there. When I asked her if she was nervous she got this look on her face that made me want to cry. The rest of her life, decided by her parents. Again, I know that different cultures are special and beautiful and I respect theirs, but I am so freaking happy to be an American sometimes.

This is Lin Dong.

Is it just me, or are Tibetan men super handsome? Until they get middle-aged, that is.

The next few pictures are my tribute to Asian Emma Stone. These pictures don't do her justice but I swear this girl looks JUST like her. Am I crazy? Maybe I am just a little too into Emma Stone...

She's got a little bit of buck teeth. Just like Emma

This is how awkward the wedding was. The bride and groom could hardly look at each other the whole time. When they posed for pictures together, this is how they stood:

 

And then handsome boy came and literally forced them together

 

The happy couple

More Emma Stone. Tell me if I'm crazy.

Especially in this one

------- Do you see this???--------

I'm probably crazy. Just putting that out there. I truly believe that every white person has an Asian doppelganger.

This was crazy legit. How they make their tea with cheese. Sounds awful right? It was delicious.

Our fearless leader. Always here to protect us

I didn't even ask about the cow leg

There was no actual ceremony for the wedding. I was waiting for it all weekend, and by Sunday afternoon, I was pretty sure I had missed it somehow. I asked Lin Dong "when are they getting married?" "They already are", she replied. Apparently the marriage process here consists of an enormous bride price and consuming copious amounts of alcohol.

By Sunday afternoon, the aforementioned and delicious goat that I had eaten had decided to declare war on my internal organs, so I was pretty eager to leave. Lin Dong promised we would leave at 4:00. So naturally we were in a car ready to go by 5:30. Then, I asked the driver if he had drank anything that day. And had to wait for an insisted-upon-by-me not drunk driver (who I'm still not sure was completely sober). I even offered to drive if no one was available, because I had not seen a single person not pounding down the baijiu (chinese vodka-esque drank that hangs out around 70% alcohol and smells like a turtle threw up into an old shoe) that day. So by the time we FINALLY left Yanyuan city, it was almost 8:00, I was NOT happy, and the three hour winding bumpy mountain road back to Xichang was not a pleasant experience. I may have cried a little. And threw up on the side of the road. And okay I cried a lot.

So that's the story of my Tibetan wedding experience. Stay tuned for delightful stories on child abuse and birthday parties.

And don't forget to use the touriem toilets

I love you, America